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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I head down to ul. Główna. You know, the main street? It’s usually buzzing with folks, but today? Crickets. Just me and my thoughts. I’m thinking about my plants, my babies, you know? But then, BAM! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who put that there? I’m pretty sure it was plotting against me.

Two people killed when car crashes into Auschwitz tour bus